We all have been in a situation at one time or another and pondered – “Should I say something? Should I tell them how I feel? Should I stand up for myself?” 9 times of out 10, we don’t.
Most of us communicate well in some areas of our lives, but not others. We can talk hours and even put up a good debate with a friend or colleague over the things we are most passionate about. However, when we are faced with conflict in personal relationships, professional relationships, with closest friends or even with our children… we struggle.
We Struggle with finding our voice to speak up.
Why is that? Is it FEAR? Are we afraid to fail, afraid we will be rejected, afraid of what the response will be on the other end? Are we afraid we will run people away? Perhaps we have spoken up and it has gotten us nowhere. In this case, it may be the delivery of how we said it when we spoke up. The tone in which we speak makes a world of a difference in how others receive our words. We can lose out on countless opportunities and relationships in our lives from being silent or speaking up ineffectively, when it matters the most. So how can we get past communication obstacles?
- Talk with a trusted person in your circle about what you are dealing with and seek advice on how to speak up.
- Practice and use yourself as the person you need to speak up to.Think of how you would need your tone to be in order to get your point across. What are the words you would you use to get through to yourself?
- Perhaps writing your words out on paper and then speaking them out to yourself is another way to practice learning how to overcome the challenges you may face with speaking up.
Timing is everything!
We should never attempt to voice our concerns when we are upset. We are bound to be in attack mode when our emotions are heightened. Furthermore, we should make sure the person we need to confront is also in a good space. Approach them when they are calm and not guarded or stressed. When we are able to communicate in a person’s language where they can receive it, we are bound to be successful at speaking up, and being heard!
What do you need to speak up with, but don’t know how to?